Sometimes I read an article like When Your Spouse Comes Out as Transgender and have a moment of feeling incredibly seen. This article is everything. Thank you Antoinette Cavitt for writing so eloquently about this unique, shared experience. I cried while reading it and am so glad there are others in the world who get it.


Katie recently purchased a Tarot deck in hopes of learning a new skill. If I do say so myself, she's getting better at it, although still struggles to attribute specific meaning to the cards as described. Someone more familiar with the art mentioned she learned how to read Tarot by pulling a card each day …

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On the Basis of Sex

This morning I had an aggressive workout followed by crying. Sometimes I forgot how far we have to go to achieve equality and this morning's episode of The Daily is a strong reminder. The language the justices use, the focus on bathrooms (not an issue addressed anywhere in this case), the binary construction of gender: …

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Birds do it. Bees do it. But can Katie and I do it?

I’ve avoided writing about this topic for many reasons. First, my friends, family, and some coworkers read this blog and sex is not something I openly talk about with any of these audiences. (Mom, Dad, this is your warning now to discontinue if you don’t want to know more about your daughter on this subject. …

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Lost in Transition

Buckle-up – this is a long one: I’ve been insistent for months that I can’t have a conversation about bottom surgeryGender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) vaginoplasty until Katie had done the research. We kept going around and around in the beginning of the transition. Katie knew early on she wanted Thailand. The surgeon, the reputation, the …

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Today, the thought occurred to me that my dreams about Katie are always with the version of her I knew as Kyle. I don't really know what more to say about that, except the immediate devastation I felt upon realizing it caused me to pause making my lunch, sit on the floor of our kitchen …

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