It has been 177 days since my last blog post. It's odd looking at this blog now, at the person I was 6 months ago as compared to the person I understand myself to be now. You want an update on my life? Actually, maybe you don't. Regardless, here are the highlights: I stayed with …
Tag: SisforSpouse
Seen
Sometimes I read an article like When Your Spouse Comes Out as Transgender and have a moment of feeling incredibly seen. This article is everything. Thank you Antoinette Cavitt for writing so eloquently about this unique, shared experience. I cried while reading it and am so glad there are others in the world who get it.
Tarot
Katie recently purchased a Tarot deck in hopes of learning a new skill. If I do say so myself, she's getting better at it, although still struggles to attribute specific meaning to the cards as described. Someone more familiar with the art mentioned she learned how to read Tarot by pulling a card each day …
On the Basis of Sex
This morning I had an aggressive workout followed by crying. Sometimes I forgot how far we have to go to achieve equality and this morning's episode of The Daily is a strong reminder. The language the justices use, the focus on bathrooms (not an issue addressed anywhere in this case), the binary construction of gender: …
Love Lives Here – A Gratitude Post
The moment I saw Amanda Jetté Knox was publishing a book, I ordered it. I knew without a doubt I needed to read what she was willing to disclose about her story. As I read the words to myself and sometimes aloud to Katie, tears fell on the pages. The remarkable candor and raw emotion …
Two Year Traniversary
This morning at 8:22am I texted my wife to wish her a Happy Tranniversary. Two years ago our lives changed as she stepped out of the shadows. It’s humbling to think about how much has happened in consideration of how little time has passed. It’s also tremendous to realize how long some of these days …
Where is that ‘thick skin’?
Yesterday, I had a coffee meeting with an individual who does not work for my company, but whom I work with. During this meeting, this person stated, “I looked at your profile and saw you’re LGBT. Tell me about that.” It was towards the end of my day, the end of our meeting and my …
Birds do it. Bees do it. But can Katie and I do it?
I’ve avoided writing about this topic for many reasons. First, my friends, family, and some coworkers read this blog and sex is not something I openly talk about with any of these audiences. (Mom, Dad, this is your warning now to discontinue if you don’t want to know more about your daughter on this subject. …
Continue reading Birds do it. Bees do it. But can Katie and I do it?
One Year and Nine Months
Part of what led me toward the theory of Katie being transgender before she came out to me was her admission of depression while we were camping a few weeks prior. Depression, now that I know what to call it, is and has been a main character in our relationship. It is my understanding that …
Lost in Transition
Buckle-up – this is a long one: I’ve been insistent for months that I can’t have a conversation about bottom surgeryGender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) vaginoplasty until Katie had done the research. We kept going around and around in the beginning of the transition. Katie knew early on she wanted Thailand. The surgeon, the reputation, the …
Dreams
Today, the thought occurred to me that my dreams about Katie are always with the version of her I knew as Kyle. I don't really know what more to say about that, except the immediate devastation I felt upon realizing it caused me to pause making my lunch, sit on the floor of our kitchen …
Dead-Name
Last Tuesday, Katie had one of those days at work that can only happen when you're a transgender person and new at your job. You know those? No? Well, you probably know what it feels like to be new at your job and have something escalated you don't know how to fix therefore causing a …
Ariel
Katie is 6 foot, 1 inches tall. Her height was the first thing I noticed about her when we met. How could I not? She towers a whole 6 inches above me. The second thing I noticed? Her voice. She has this deep voice that took me by surprise. It's soothing, smooth, and in control. …
‘M’ is for Mental
I can't really identify how I feel about what happened to Jussie Smollett. I'm angry. Confused. Guilty. I can't believe I live in a world like this, with people who are so ignorant and hateful. If there is a positive, it's that people are seeing a darkness that rarely gets experienced by those with privilege. …
Tuesdays with Mourning
On Tuesday, I made good time getting home despite rain causing people to drive like idiots. Sometimes I wonder if people are actually bad drivers or if it is somehow our cultural assumption that all other drivers are bad, but we are great! I was in this thought process in my car when NPR let …