Caregiver fatigue for the spouse supporting the one who has depression is real. I’ve been trying to find a new therapist since I stopped seeing mine due to a new job location making the commute inconvenient. In truth, I’ve tried to reach my therapist again to no success, which is really a struggle for me at the time. I need someone to talk to about the jumble of things in my life that seem to be spiraling out.
In the meantime, to help mitigate my anxiety thought patterns, I downloaded a Gratitude App (called “Grateful”) to track what I do feel grateful for in times like these where the forecast for my life seems particularly difficult. I’m not sure it’s working, but I figure trying to track what is going well when nothing seems to be is one way to change my perspective.
Today I am grateful my asshole-cat, Charles, seems to know I’m stressed and is being a bit less asshole than normal. I am grateful I managed to ride the stationary bike for 30 minutes this morning and that I reached 10,000 steps. I am grateful for this glass of wine. I am grateful for somehow having the energy to do my laundry, vacuum, and put away the dishes. That’s all I have right now. I know there is more, but sometimes you just need to nestle in and let it all go.