This blog is about my perspective as the wife of a transgender woman watching the early stages of their spouse’s transition. I chose to write because I needed an outlet for this energy, the emotional output that has drained me over the last year, replacing my blood with new cells, regenerating my identity. I also …
Short and Sweet
On Sunday, it will have been one year since I found out about Katie. There's a much longer post coming, an interview I did with Katie on the mountain this weekend. That said, it just hit me that I'm headed towards one year in my new life and the emotional weight of what that means …
Name Changes and Cher
I'm going to start this post by discussing the word "Guys" because I really wanted to start my post by saying "Guys! We bought a Vespa!", but I realized that it's probably not appropriate to do so. There is a point to which I wonder how I can really offend people by addressing them by …
Mercury in Retrograde
Katie and I were off this weekend. I was off. I referred to her several times by the wrong gender, even said Kyle at one point which hasn’t been my habit. I had a friend in town and I mentioned directly to this friend that maybe it's because I was with someone (my friend) who …
One Year
It's taken me two days to write this post and even now, I'm still not really sure I like it and question that it does justice to how important what I'm describing is to who I believe I am. We all have moments that make us who we are, the unmistakable seconds, minutes, or hours, …
TBD
As one can imagine, there are a lot of complicated conversations that happen when your significant other comes out as transgender. One of these joyful topics is no different than any other couple: when and how do we want to have a family? Before Katie came out to me, I was on the fence about …
Dinner Date
This past weekend, we had friends stay with us which turned into a drinking-too-much and spending-too-much-money kind of weekend. I regret nothing other than the lack of groceries in our fridge. Actually, to clarify, we have a ton of produce, but nothing that really makes a complete meal. I recently signed up for Imperfect Produce, …
Judgement?
In December of last year, I was presented with an opportunity to be part of a medical study that is looking to see how long the IUD I use can be extended out. As my life with Katie was still in a giant land of question marks, I enrolled, thinking it would be a long …
Pronouns and Progress
This week I attended a Mariner's game with my coworkers. There was a point during the drinks and meal beforehand where someone I hadn't seen in person for a very long time asked if I wanted to invite my husband to the game. There was an extra ticket. I politely declined, knowing that at some …
Shorts
It's been warm in Seattle, the kind of warm Seattleites look forward to as early as February, but when it gets here in July we remember what it's like to attempt sleep without climate-controlled surroundings. The kind of warm that makes us want ice-cream and cold beer 3 meals a day. The kind of warm …
This is 30
For my 30th birthday, Katie booked us two nights at the Stehekin Lodge. For those of you who don't know where that is, definitely look it up. It's a small town at the north end of Lake Chelan. The only way to get there is by ferry, which at minimum is 2.5 hours. As remote …
Humbled
I have received several emails and comments from people like me, from The Spouses. I am humbled by all of you who have reached out to tell your story. It is an incredibly brave thing to tell a stranger about something in your life so personal and painful. I am honored to have given voice …
What If
On Wednesday last week, Katie's hormone dose was doubled and her doctor prescribed testosterone blockers. The rate at which Katie will feminize physically is going to get faster and I'm terrified. As Katie and I lay in bed on Sunday, reflecting on our weekend, a familiar stream of consciousness brought me to tears. What if I …
“T” is for Transgender: Pride 2018
I have celebrated Pride for many years in a row, at least 5 or 6. It's such a wonderful, happy time in Seattle. There is beauty in people who have personally struggled coming together to celebrate being proud of who they are. The positive energy is enigmatic, contagious. The Pride Parade on Sunday has always …
Mourning
I recently was at work requesting days off for various weddings, camping trips and Beyonce concerts that are already scheduled throughout the remainder of the year when it occurred to me that I should look and see when the 1-year anniversary of The Outing is. In considering the gravity of that day, I don't think …
"T" is for Trans 