Part of what led me toward the theory of Katie being transgender before she came out to me was her admission of depression while we were camping a few weeks prior. Depression, now that I know what to call it, is and has been a main character in our relationship. It is my understanding that …
Author: "T" is for Trans
Shame
I've been trying to write this post for over an hour, but can't seem to do it any justice. As I discussed the latest gossip about the Kardashian family with my nail technician on Friday, the technician made a joke about Kris Kardashian and how stupid she must have been to be married to Caitlyn …
Invisible Monster
On Saturday, I had a plan. I managed to buy tickets to see Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard for Saturday night within the 15 minute window they were available for sale. I was in the final weekend of my first quarter of grad school. My workload was minimal in comparison to the previous nine weeks …
Reference List
As promised, I've pasted the reference list utilized for my paper below. I don't believe the links will work as most of the journal articles were accessed via the student library at school, but maybe the titles can be found elsewhere online or via your local library. The list in total was 2.5 pages typed …
Be the Brick
I'm still writing this paper about transgender relationships (it's my final paper for my Writing class, so it's a quarter-long project). I'll be sure to post my reference list for all of you. To find any research at all about the partners of transgender people is validating. I feel connected to others in this small …
We. Need. To. Do. Better.
In one of my classes, I am required to write a research paper on a topic of my choice. Naturally, I was curious about what studies and peer-reviewed articles have been conducted and written about transgender humans in relationships. When I searched for "transgender relationship" in the library site, I received 18 hits, most of …
4/20
Five years ago today, Katie asked me to marry her. As I look through our engagement photos, their luster seems dulled, clouded in the reality of who my wife in them really was at the time. In retrospect, we were so happy sharing the mutual discomfort of being professionally photographed. But were we really happy? It's …
Validation from the Patriarchy
Katie had the experience of telling her boss the solution to a problem, having them not understand her, asking a male peer the same question, being provided the same solution, and watching as the Boss understood the peer. Her transition is manifesting to the point of perfection - she's crossed to the other side. Katie …
Lost in Transition
Buckle-up – this is a long one: I’ve been insistent for months that I can’t have a conversation about bottom surgeryGender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) vaginoplasty until Katie had done the research. We kept going around and around in the beginning of the transition. Katie knew early on she wanted Thailand. The surgeon, the reputation, the …
Dreams
Today, the thought occurred to me that my dreams about Katie are always with the version of her I knew as Kyle. I don't really know what more to say about that, except the immediate devastation I felt upon realizing it caused me to pause making my lunch, sit on the floor of our kitchen …
Dead-Name
Last Tuesday, Katie had one of those days at work that can only happen when you're a transgender person and new at your job. You know those? No? Well, you probably know what it feels like to be new at your job and have something escalated you don't know how to fix therefore causing a …
Mbar
Last week, Katie and I ate with a friend at Mbar for the first time. I wrote them about our experience on Facebook - the below is what I sent. To Whom It May Concern, I apologize for sending this message here. I didn't see an email listed to send general inquiries to other …
Together or Separate?
I love when it snows. I love the change in routine, the shared annoyance with the neighbors whom I’ve never met. I know all the reasons to dislike it, the interruption to commute, the inability to get things delivered or find the groceries I prefer, the lack of reliability on the bus schedule. Yet, I …
Ariel
Katie is 6 foot, 1 inches tall. Her height was the first thing I noticed about her when we met. How could I not? She towers a whole 6 inches above me. The second thing I noticed? Her voice. She has this deep voice that took me by surprise. It's soothing, smooth, and in control. …
‘M’ is for Mental
I can't really identify how I feel about what happened to Jussie Smollett. I'm angry. Confused. Guilty. I can't believe I live in a world like this, with people who are so ignorant and hateful. If there is a positive, it's that people are seeing a darkness that rarely gets experienced by those with privilege. …
