Sometimes I read an article like When Your Spouse Comes Out as Transgender and have a moment of feeling incredibly seen. This article is everything. Thank you Antoinette Cavitt for writing so eloquently about this unique, shared experience. I cried while reading it and am so glad there are others in the world who get it.
Tag: Blog
On the Basis of Sex
This morning I had an aggressive workout followed by crying. Sometimes I forgot how far we have to go to achieve equality and this morning's episode of The Daily is a strong reminder. The language the justices use, the focus on bathrooms (not an issue addressed anywhere in this case), the binary construction of gender: …
Two Year Traniversary
This morning at 8:22am I texted my wife to wish her a Happy Tranniversary. Two years ago our lives changed as she stepped out of the shadows. It’s humbling to think about how much has happened in consideration of how little time has passed. It’s also tremendous to realize how long some of these days …
Birds do it. Bees do it. But can Katie and I do it?
I’ve avoided writing about this topic for many reasons. First, my friends, family, and some coworkers read this blog and sex is not something I openly talk about with any of these audiences. (Mom, Dad, this is your warning now to discontinue if you don’t want to know more about your daughter on this subject. …
Continue reading Birds do it. Bees do it. But can Katie and I do it?
Dreams
Today, the thought occurred to me that my dreams about Katie are always with the version of her I knew as Kyle. I don't really know what more to say about that, except the immediate devastation I felt upon realizing it caused me to pause making my lunch, sit on the floor of our kitchen …
Together or Separate?
I love when it snows. I love the change in routine, the shared annoyance with the neighbors whom I’ve never met. I know all the reasons to dislike it, the interruption to commute, the inability to get things delivered or find the groceries I prefer, the lack of reliability on the bus schedule. Yet, I …
Ariel
Katie is 6 foot, 1 inches tall. Her height was the first thing I noticed about her when we met. How could I not? She towers a whole 6 inches above me. The second thing I noticed? Her voice. She has this deep voice that took me by surprise. It's soothing, smooth, and in control. …
Happy Birthday
Today, this blog is one years old. If it were a baby, we’d have baked a cake, taken pictures of the blog eating the cake with its hands, and then posted the pictures with some sort of boasting statement about how our blog is cuter than all the other kids. It has been one year …
Chico is My Hometown
I’m was born in Paradise, CA and raised in Chico, CA. Last night I dreamt that I had to decide between 1 of 4 pugs to save from the fires. The first pug was perfectly healthy, a show-worthy pug, an adorable specimen, healthy and whole. The second one was missing an eye and at least …
Vulnerability
Before writing this post, I considered whether I wanted to write it at all. I was on my way home from work, a podcast playing, but my thoughts distracting me from actually listening. You see, Katie and I have had a rough few weeks. Sometimes I think it’s the hardest few weeks we’ve ever had, …
Suicide
This past week has been a very trans-focused week. I had the wonderful opportunity with the support of my employer to attend the 2018 Out and Equal Workplace Summit. I attended seminars from Tuesday to Thursday focused on transgender issues in the workplace. Topics ranged from the good and bad of medical care globally, transition …
A Plan is Born
This week has been a week. I have a cold that has completely decreased my appetite and energy. Dayquil, 8-10 hours of sleep, saltine crackers, and lots of tea are ventilating my existence. I've lost six pounds which I'd normally be thrilled about, but I don't think this is a recommended weight loss plan. This …
This Post is for Katie
This blog is about my perspective as the wife of a transgender woman watching the early stages of their spouse’s transition. I chose to write because I needed an outlet for this energy, the emotional output that has drained me over the last year, replacing my blood with new cells, regenerating my identity. I also …
Humbled
I have received several emails and comments from people like me, from The Spouses. I am humbled by all of you who have reached out to tell your story. It is an incredibly brave thing to tell a stranger about something in your life so personal and painful. I am honored to have given voice …
Mourning
I recently was at work requesting days off for various weddings, camping trips and Beyonce concerts that are already scheduled throughout the remainder of the year when it occurred to me that I should look and see when the 1-year anniversary of The Outing is. In considering the gravity of that day, I don't think …
"T" is for Trans 