Several weeks ago I attended the support group and met the first person I've ever met who looked close to my age, had just been married, and their significant other had come out as transgender. I was so excited! To meet someone like me who didn't have kids and loves their spouse, but is grappling …
Tag: Seattle
Emotional Labor and Wearing Glasses
Part of our lives over the past few months has been learning how to redefine the simple structures of running our household. Pre-outing, I took on the burdens of emotional labor without second thought that maybe those burdens didn't need to be entirely mine. I've always told myself that Katie and I have "different standards …
Time for a Dress
This week, for the first time ever, I left the house with my wife while she wore a dress. Wednesday was a warm day in Seattle. To clairfy, "warm" means it wasn't raining, the sun was out, and the temperature was 65 degrees. Spring time and sunshine guarantee Seattleites clog roadways to get to the …
Screening the Haters
My sister has been online dating and one of her early first responses to people is "My sister is married to someone who is transgender, is that going to be a problem?" My feelings:
Natalie Revelations About Transgender Culture Post #1: Will and Grace
Disclaimer: Please know that I am very aware I probably offended a lot of people in this post with both my ignorance, lack of research on this topic and overall inability to filter myself. If you have constructive criticism or somewhere I can find some reading on this topic, please point me in the right direction. …
Continue reading Natalie Revelations About Transgender Culture Post #1: Will and Grace
Reunions and Reflections
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing an old friend from high school. Due to our priorities being in different places, we hadn't stayed in touch. I could belabor the details of what happened between us in school, the ways in which I was hurt by this person and in turn I probably hurt …
The Sexy Topic of Banking Sperm
In the whirlwind before Katie started hormones, there was the stage of trying to figure out how to ensure we could have children should we choose to. We have had many, long conversations about kids during the time we've known each other. Do we? Don't we? Do we adopt and save a child? Could we …
Is it Friday?
In my last post, I talked about how I couldn't get off the couch after realizing Katie would be starting hormones soon. I know, I know. How could I not know she would start hormones? It's not so much that I didn't know, but how I chose to acknowledge this step of the process. As …
Day Off
I haven't processed this yet, so this post will be shorter. My wife has an appointment to get her first hormone prescription filled today. I can't stop crying. I had a plan to get my nails done and workout and be a human because I have the day off, but I cannot get off the …
A Letter Unsent
Dear Grandma and Grandpa, I’m scared to tell you what I need to. I feel compelled to tell you out of the profound respect I have for the person you sculpted my mother to be and, as a result, formed me to be. You see, I believe it is not without you, that I am …
Support Group
Twice a month, the Ingersoll Gender Center opens their doors to the SOFFA (significant others, friends, family, and allies) group. I've attended 3 times, each of which have been so different, which highlights for me the transformation I'm going through in this process. I won't talk much about this group in specifics, as the privacy …
The Wave
I am sitting by the pool at a table for two, but the chair across from me is empty. As I look out at the ocean, I hear laughter and pool splashes and the flutter of enjoyment only experienced when paying for the luxury of a hotel room with a pool by the ocean. The …
Disneyland and a Birthday
Katie's birthday is February 23rd. It's the perfect time of year for a Seattle-lite to make an excuse to vacation somewhere sunny. It's always in the 3rd month of wintery grey that those of us in the PNW start questioning the sanity with which we chose to live here. I really don't think people decide …
Am I a lesbian?
In the past 2 weeks, I've begun the laborious task of telling my coworkers about Katie. It's a complicated process, as these are people I work with and this is a conversation that doesn't have a space in the workplace. So how do I do it? After a conference call ends, stand in front of …
This is Us
I've said it before, and I'll probably continue to say it until there's a better example: having your spouse transition is like experiencing a death. I can imagine that people who have lost someone important to them would respond to me by saying "at least you can still see your loved one". The irony is …
"T" is for Trans 