Sometimes I read an article like When Your Spouse Comes Out as Transgender and have a moment of feeling incredibly seen. This article is everything. Thank you Antoinette Cavitt for writing so eloquently about this unique, shared experience. I cried while reading it and am so glad there are others in the world who get it.
Tag: transgender
On the Basis of Sex
This morning I had an aggressive workout followed by crying. Sometimes I forgot how far we have to go to achieve equality and this morning's episode of The Daily is a strong reminder. The language the justices use, the focus on bathrooms (not an issue addressed anywhere in this case), the binary construction of gender: …
Two Year Traniversary
This morning at 8:22am I texted my wife to wish her a Happy Tranniversary. Two years ago our lives changed as she stepped out of the shadows. It’s humbling to think about how much has happened in consideration of how little time has passed. It’s also tremendous to realize how long some of these days …
Contact Photo
The photo for Katie in my phone was from this moment when we first lived together. I came home and found Katie making dinner, kitchen overwhelmed with dishes everywhere because that's how she does anything - like a tornado. She looked at me, grabbed the baguette and mimicked playing air guitar. Our kitchen in that …
Panic Attack
Katie is currently laying on the floor listening to a meditative Yoga Nidra video in the middle of a panic attack. Our Vespa was knocked over last week, a fun surprise Katie upon seeing it on the pavement laying down with dents in it. Fortunately it looks like cosmetic damage, but it's still annoying. Another "fortunately" …
Where is that ‘thick skin’?
Yesterday, I had a coffee meeting with an individual who does not work for my company, but whom I work with. During this meeting, this person stated, “I looked at your profile and saw you’re LGBT. Tell me about that.” It was towards the end of my day, the end of our meeting and my …
One Year and Nine Months
Part of what led me toward the theory of Katie being transgender before she came out to me was her admission of depression while we were camping a few weeks prior. Depression, now that I know what to call it, is and has been a main character in our relationship. It is my understanding that …
Shame
I've been trying to write this post for over an hour, but can't seem to do it any justice. As I discussed the latest gossip about the Kardashian family with my nail technician on Friday, the technician made a joke about Kris Kardashian and how stupid she must have been to be married to Caitlyn …
Invisible Monster
On Saturday, I had a plan. I managed to buy tickets to see Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard for Saturday night within the 15 minute window they were available for sale. I was in the final weekend of my first quarter of grad school. My workload was minimal in comparison to the previous nine weeks …
4/20
Five years ago today, Katie asked me to marry her. As I look through our engagement photos, their luster seems dulled, clouded in the reality of who my wife in them really was at the time. In retrospect, we were so happy sharing the mutual discomfort of being professionally photographed. But were we really happy? It's …
Lost in Transition
Buckle-up – this is a long one: I’ve been insistent for months that I can’t have a conversation about bottom surgeryGender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) vaginoplasty until Katie had done the research. We kept going around and around in the beginning of the transition. Katie knew early on she wanted Thailand. The surgeon, the reputation, the …
Dreams
Today, the thought occurred to me that my dreams about Katie are always with the version of her I knew as Kyle. I don't really know what more to say about that, except the immediate devastation I felt upon realizing it caused me to pause making my lunch, sit on the floor of our kitchen …
Dead-Name
Last Tuesday, Katie had one of those days at work that can only happen when you're a transgender person and new at your job. You know those? No? Well, you probably know what it feels like to be new at your job and have something escalated you don't know how to fix therefore causing a …
Together or Separate?
I love when it snows. I love the change in routine, the shared annoyance with the neighbors whom I’ve never met. I know all the reasons to dislike it, the interruption to commute, the inability to get things delivered or find the groceries I prefer, the lack of reliability on the bus schedule. Yet, I …
Ariel
Katie is 6 foot, 1 inches tall. Her height was the first thing I noticed about her when we met. How could I not? She towers a whole 6 inches above me. The second thing I noticed? Her voice. She has this deep voice that took me by surprise. It's soothing, smooth, and in control. …
"T" is for Trans 