Dysphoria is a new word for me. I even just double-checked the spelling in Google because I'm not used to it. It is essentially defined as extreme discomfort. Gender Dysphoria, by default, is extreme discomfort as a result of the gender or sex you are assigned at birth. I believe where most people do not …
Tag: Transition
A Letter Unsent
Dear Grandma and Grandpa, I’m scared to tell you what I need to. I feel compelled to tell you out of the profound respect I have for the person you sculpted my mother to be and, as a result, formed me to be. You see, I believe it is not without you, that I am …
Support Group
Twice a month, the Ingersoll Gender Center opens their doors to the SOFFA (significant others, friends, family, and allies) group. I've attended 3 times, each of which have been so different, which highlights for me the transformation I'm going through in this process. I won't talk much about this group in specifics, as the privacy …
Disneyland and a Birthday
Katie's birthday is February 23rd. It's the perfect time of year for a Seattle-lite to make an excuse to vacation somewhere sunny. It's always in the 3rd month of wintery grey that those of us in the PNW start questioning the sanity with which we chose to live here. I really don't think people decide …
Am I a lesbian?
In the past 2 weeks, I've begun the laborious task of telling my coworkers about Katie. It's a complicated process, as these are people I work with and this is a conversation that doesn't have a space in the workplace. So how do I do it? After a conference call ends, stand in front of …
1st GALentine’s Day and Soul Mates
My mom sent me a Ted Talk this week on Valentine's Day (now GALentine's Day for me and Katie). She texted the link with the words "Have you seen this?? This is what you've been talking about!!" Naturally, I was curious. I hit play while in my car on my way to work, placed my …
5 months and Stitch Fix
5-months ago today, I sat on my couch and asked my husband if his shaved face, painted nails, secret depression and hair growth meant something. 6 months ago I was married to a man and now I am married to a woman. Time flies when your marriage is going through a gender-identity crisis. In other …
This is Us
I've said it before, and I'll probably continue to say it until there's a better example: having your spouse transition is like experiencing a death. I can imagine that people who have lost someone important to them would respond to me by saying "at least you can still see your loved one". The irony is …
Shoe Shopping
Amongst many things I am struggling with in the transition process, finding shoes that actually fit Katie's ginormous, male feet is one of the more baffling mysteries so far. It is very, very difficult to find shoes that are feminine and made for larger feet. Try it. Go find them and tell me what you see. …
Small, Beautiful Things
Last night, a friend texted and asked how she should address Katie when she mails us their wedding invitation. My friends never cease to amaze me with their capacity for support and understanding. I am incredibly lucky. Also last night, I sat on the couch with Katie after her support group as she detailed the …
Thanksgiving: Meeting Katie
Not many people can say they have met their spouse twice and had them be totally different people, but I can. I know that my spouse is the same human (in theory) that I met in the beginning, but I'm still in the process of trying to marry those two images together. The man I …
Red Lips
I am asked frequently by those who care about me how I'm doing. I never know what to tell them. I've actually started sending them a link to this blog because it helps explain a small glimmer of what I'm going through. That said, if I were ever going to epitomize this experience through one …
The Kid Question
Katie and I have always been on the fence about kids. I think this is more of a "resistance to letting go of our freedom as adults with a healthy combined income that would rather travel and not be saddled by a family yet" thing. When we were first dating, Katie was very confident in …
Office Holiday Party
This week is my office holiday party. Yes, it's in January and I'm not certain as to why although I could guess that budget has something to do with it. I'm really looking forward to it. I work with the best people! They are so fun and everyone (with few exceptions) works hard and plays …
"T" is for Trans 