Part of our lives over the past few months has been learning how to redefine the simple structures of running our household. Pre-outing, I took on the burdens of emotional labor without second thought that maybe those burdens didn't need to be entirely mine. I've always told myself that Katie and I have "different standards …
Tag: marriage
Screening the Haters
My sister has been online dating and one of her early first responses to people is "My sister is married to someone who is transgender, is that going to be a problem?" My feelings:
Natalie Revelations About Transgender Culture Post #1: Will and Grace
Disclaimer: Please know that I am very aware I probably offended a lot of people in this post with both my ignorance, lack of research on this topic and overall inability to filter myself. If you have constructive criticism or somewhere I can find some reading on this topic, please point me in the right direction. …
Continue reading Natalie Revelations About Transgender Culture Post #1: Will and Grace
Facebook Outing
Today, I outed myself and Katie on Facebook. I'm terrified. We both wrote something separately, counted down a timer, and posted our stories at the same time. The result of my post is below: Dearest Friends and Family – After careful consideration, many conversations, a sprinkle of anxiety (understatement) and even some therapy, Kyle and …
Is it Friday?
In my last post, I talked about how I couldn't get off the couch after realizing Katie would be starting hormones soon. I know, I know. How could I not know she would start hormones? It's not so much that I didn't know, but how I chose to acknowledge this step of the process. As …
The Wave
I am sitting by the pool at a table for two, but the chair across from me is empty. As I look out at the ocean, I hear laughter and pool splashes and the flutter of enjoyment only experienced when paying for the luxury of a hotel room with a pool by the ocean. The …
Disneyland and a Birthday
Katie's birthday is February 23rd. It's the perfect time of year for a Seattle-lite to make an excuse to vacation somewhere sunny. It's always in the 3rd month of wintery grey that those of us in the PNW start questioning the sanity with which we chose to live here. I really don't think people decide …
Am I a lesbian?
In the past 2 weeks, I've begun the laborious task of telling my coworkers about Katie. It's a complicated process, as these are people I work with and this is a conversation that doesn't have a space in the workplace. So how do I do it? After a conference call ends, stand in front of …
1st GALentine’s Day and Soul Mates
My mom sent me a Ted Talk this week on Valentine's Day (now GALentine's Day for me and Katie). She texted the link with the words "Have you seen this?? This is what you've been talking about!!" Naturally, I was curious. I hit play while in my car on my way to work, placed my …
5 months and Stitch Fix
5-months ago today, I sat on my couch and asked my husband if his shaved face, painted nails, secret depression and hair growth meant something. 6 months ago I was married to a man and now I am married to a woman. Time flies when your marriage is going through a gender-identity crisis. In other …
This is Us
I've said it before, and I'll probably continue to say it until there's a better example: having your spouse transition is like experiencing a death. I can imagine that people who have lost someone important to them would respond to me by saying "at least you can still see your loved one". The irony is …
Shoe Shopping
Amongst many things I am struggling with in the transition process, finding shoes that actually fit Katie's ginormous, male feet is one of the more baffling mysteries so far. It is very, very difficult to find shoes that are feminine and made for larger feet. Try it. Go find them and tell me what you see. …
Small, Beautiful Things
Last night, a friend texted and asked how she should address Katie when she mails us their wedding invitation. My friends never cease to amaze me with their capacity for support and understanding. I am incredibly lucky. Also last night, I sat on the couch with Katie after her support group as she detailed the …
Thanksgiving: Meeting Katie
Not many people can say they have met their spouse twice and had them be totally different people, but I can. I know that my spouse is the same human (in theory) that I met in the beginning, but I'm still in the process of trying to marry those two images together. The man I …
Red Lips
I am asked frequently by those who care about me how I'm doing. I never know what to tell them. I've actually started sending them a link to this blog because it helps explain a small glimmer of what I'm going through. That said, if I were ever going to epitomize this experience through one …
"T" is for Trans 