Part of our lives over the past few months has been learning how to redefine the simple structures of running our household. Pre-outing, I took on the burdens of emotional labor without second thought that maybe those burdens didn't need to be entirely mine. I've always told myself that Katie and I have "different standards …
Tag: SisforSpouse
Time for a Dress
This week, for the first time ever, I left the house with my wife while she wore a dress. Wednesday was a warm day in Seattle. To clairfy, "warm" means it wasn't raining, the sun was out, and the temperature was 65 degrees. Spring time and sunshine guarantee Seattleites clog roadways to get to the …
Screening the Haters
My sister has been online dating and one of her early first responses to people is "My sister is married to someone who is transgender, is that going to be a problem?" My feelings:
Pain, Fear, and Email
To say that this week has been difficult would really undermine the definition of the word. Upon reflection, it's amazing how much better I feel not hiding my life with Katie anymore. Given the circumstances, I would walk this pathway every time. That said, knowing how much pain this is causing others is really hard. …
Natalie Revelations About Transgender Culture Post #1: Will and Grace
Disclaimer: Please know that I am very aware I probably offended a lot of people in this post with both my ignorance, lack of research on this topic and overall inability to filter myself. If you have constructive criticism or somewhere I can find some reading on this topic, please point me in the right direction. …
Continue reading Natalie Revelations About Transgender Culture Post #1: Will and Grace
Reunions and Reflections
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing an old friend from high school. Due to our priorities being in different places, we hadn't stayed in touch. I could belabor the details of what happened between us in school, the ways in which I was hurt by this person and in turn I probably hurt …
Facebook Outing
Today, I outed myself and Katie on Facebook. I'm terrified. We both wrote something separately, counted down a timer, and posted our stories at the same time. The result of my post is below: Dearest Friends and Family – After careful consideration, many conversations, a sprinkle of anxiety (understatement) and even some therapy, Kyle and …
The Sexy Topic of Banking Sperm
In the whirlwind before Katie started hormones, there was the stage of trying to figure out how to ensure we could have children should we choose to. We have had many, long conversations about kids during the time we've known each other. Do we? Don't we? Do we adopt and save a child? Could we …
Anger
I’m not prone to anger. I find anger to be a time-waster and I believe that anger is the result of feeling different emotions, stemmed in the roots of a larger problem. Often anger is tied directly to feeling hurt, embarrassed or vulnerable in some way. It’s rare I feel angry to the point of …
Is it Friday?
In my last post, I talked about how I couldn't get off the couch after realizing Katie would be starting hormones soon. I know, I know. How could I not know she would start hormones? It's not so much that I didn't know, but how I chose to acknowledge this step of the process. As …
Day Off
I haven't processed this yet, so this post will be shorter. My wife has an appointment to get her first hormone prescription filled today. I can't stop crying. I had a plan to get my nails done and workout and be a human because I have the day off, but I cannot get off the …
Dysphoria and Swimsuit Season
Dysphoria is a new word for me. I even just double-checked the spelling in Google because I'm not used to it. It is essentially defined as extreme discomfort. Gender Dysphoria, by default, is extreme discomfort as a result of the gender or sex you are assigned at birth. I believe where most people do not …
A Letter Unsent
Dear Grandma and Grandpa, I’m scared to tell you what I need to. I feel compelled to tell you out of the profound respect I have for the person you sculpted my mother to be and, as a result, formed me to be. You see, I believe it is not without you, that I am …
Support Group
Twice a month, the Ingersoll Gender Center opens their doors to the SOFFA (significant others, friends, family, and allies) group. I've attended 3 times, each of which have been so different, which highlights for me the transformation I'm going through in this process. I won't talk much about this group in specifics, as the privacy …
The Wave
I am sitting by the pool at a table for two, but the chair across from me is empty. As I look out at the ocean, I hear laughter and pool splashes and the flutter of enjoyment only experienced when paying for the luxury of a hotel room with a pool by the ocean. The …
"T" is for Trans 