This past weekend, we had friends stay with us which turned into a drinking-too-much and spending-too-much-money kind of weekend. I regret nothing other than the lack of groceries in our fridge. Actually, to clarify, we have a ton of produce, but nothing that really makes a complete meal. I recently signed up for Imperfect Produce, …
Tag: transgender
Judgement?
In December of last year, I was presented with an opportunity to be part of a medical study that is looking to see how long the IUD I use can be extended out. As my life with Katie was still in a giant land of question marks, I enrolled, thinking it would be a long …
Shorts
It's been warm in Seattle, the kind of warm Seattleites look forward to as early as February, but when it gets here in July we remember what it's like to attempt sleep without climate-controlled surroundings. The kind of warm that makes us want ice-cream and cold beer 3 meals a day. The kind of warm …
Humbled
I have received several emails and comments from people like me, from The Spouses. I am humbled by all of you who have reached out to tell your story. It is an incredibly brave thing to tell a stranger about something in your life so personal and painful. I am honored to have given voice …
What If
On Wednesday last week, Katie's hormone dose was doubled and her doctor prescribed testosterone blockers. The rate at which Katie will feminize physically is going to get faster and I'm terrified. As Katie and I lay in bed on Sunday, reflecting on our weekend, a familiar stream of consciousness brought me to tears. What if I …
“T” is for Transgender: Pride 2018
I have celebrated Pride for many years in a row, at least 5 or 6. It's such a wonderful, happy time in Seattle. There is beauty in people who have personally struggled coming together to celebrate being proud of who they are. The positive energy is enigmatic, contagious. The Pride Parade on Sunday has always …
Mourning
I recently was at work requesting days off for various weddings, camping trips and Beyonce concerts that are already scheduled throughout the remainder of the year when it occurred to me that I should look and see when the 1-year anniversary of The Outing is. In considering the gravity of that day, I don't think …
Father’s Day
This morning, I asked Katie if she wanted to wish her dad a happy Father's Day. We haven't spoken to him for a long time. Katie and I see our lives differently than he does and it's been difficult for us to find a way to each other, to connect on the island formerly seen …
Doubt and a Glass Half-full
Since Katie came out, there has only been a handful of times where I've been away from her for more than 1 night. Going to Texas in May was one of those times. The first time was back in December, when I took some time to visit my mom for a much needed week-long break. …
Bathroom Protocol
Tonight, I asked Katie a pressing question that I'm sure very few of us ever ask our significant others: are you peeing standing up, or sitting down now that you identify as a lady? I was curious because, as we are trained to do early in life, men pee standing up and women pee sitting …
Orcas Island and Intersectionality
I've spent the past week at my mom's house, a much needed reprieve from what I've fondly started calling my Stress Bubble at home and work this past month. Working in uninterrupted silence of my mom's office is so nice. I'm currently looking at my mom's dog, Gigi sleep for the 10th hour of the …
Spotted: A Transgender Spouse in the Wild
Several weeks ago I attended the support group and met the first person I've ever met who looked close to my age, had just been married, and their significant other had come out as transgender. I was so excited! To meet someone like me who didn't have kids and loves their spouse, but is grappling …
Emotional Labor and Wearing Glasses
Part of our lives over the past few months has been learning how to redefine the simple structures of running our household. Pre-outing, I took on the burdens of emotional labor without second thought that maybe those burdens didn't need to be entirely mine. I've always told myself that Katie and I have "different standards …
Time for a Dress
This week, for the first time ever, I left the house with my wife while she wore a dress. Wednesday was a warm day in Seattle. To clairfy, "warm" means it wasn't raining, the sun was out, and the temperature was 65 degrees. Spring time and sunshine guarantee Seattleites clog roadways to get to the …
Screening the Haters
My sister has been online dating and one of her early first responses to people is "My sister is married to someone who is transgender, is that going to be a problem?" My feelings:
"T" is for Trans 