Yesterday, we met the doctor who sees over 650 patients, most of them children, who will see Katie through a hormonal transformation. There is so much irony in realizing my spouse will be returning to a teenage, emotional hell-hole while we talk to a doctor who see mostly teenage, emotional hell-holes. Queue the song Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus.

I went in with zero expectation and very little knowledge about this process. I wanted to learn more from a human who went to school versus the internet which is a full-spectrum myriad of terrifying how-to’s and who-did-what’s and regrets and, to be honest, a lot of people with mental-health needs who don’t fully get them. I feel lucky that we have insurance that covers a portion of our now 3-times a week therapy sessions. It’s so expensive! I also think that if you were born the wrong gender or don’t fit into your society’s idea of what gender should be, exploring that in a healthy way through a therapist is a hard requirement. This was one of my caveats when we had The Outing: Katie needed to go to therapy. Maybe her Mopey Zoo Lion would disappear with hormone replacement therapy (HRT), but maybe it wouldn’t. When considering the horrid pressure women face to look a certain way, a man’s body trying to morph into a woman’s has a lot to learn and live up to. What if Katie goes through this transition and is still depressed? Yeah, therapy. I think everyone should do it even if you haven’t been suppressed or confused about your gender. I do! 🙂

To sum up, we received a ton of reading and I have much to catch up on. I asked Katie to not sign the consent forms until I’ve read them. I want to know what she/we are signing up for. I want to make sure we ask questions when more come up.

The good news? I like the doctor. He was wonderful, practical, to-the-point, and I trust his experience. At one point he looked at Katie and said something along the lines of “You’re the director of the ship. I don’t have an agenda here. This process is entirely up to you and what you learn about what you want in this journey. That means you have to be honest with me if something doesn’t feel right.”

Ugh. Now for my a day of work, my own therapy, and homework.